It has been my living experience that when your highs get higher,
your lows in return become lower. You can reverse that too. For me last
year was hard. I felt ways inside that I’d never felt, best described as
the worst year I’ve ever lived I can recall exclaiming on numerous
occasions. As 2012 pulled in I began to worry that I wouldn’t be able to
shake those feelings as everything seemed to repeat. A friend said
something to me last night. Basically it was about how things get worse
before they get better. It makes sense actually considering the
transformation that I feel happening even as I type this message to you.
If I’ve learned anything from my time living and breathing on this
planet, it is appreciating all one’s experiences is a great thing. Being
able to pull a lesson from every instance whether painful or blissful
is a blessing. As it’s been said many times, when you change the way you
look at things, the things you look at change. The responsibility for
making life changes pretty much is up to you. Finding ways to stay
present and unlearn habits is a daily challenge but once you’ve made it
passed certain stages of growth you never forget them. So it’s more or
less a matter of doing the necessary work to realign yourself, and get
back on track. It’s like in a video game where you fall off a cliff and
start all over from the beginning of the level. You don’t go back all
the levels you’ve completed, you just go back to the beginning of the
level you’re currently on. Anyway... if any of this makes sense to you
I’m glad. Just a few words that I felt to share with you as I begin my
day the way that I intend to, with purpose and control. A reminder if
you forgot, that being present is the key to unlocking your desires.
Make time for yourself, so you can be yourself. Every
answer you need is within so don’t break your neck searching the
exterior. Use the things outside of you as an aid to awaken what’s
buried inside. Sometimes we have to agitate and purge our caverns before
we can excavate and emerge with all the intrinsic jewels we far too
often seek outside of ourselves.
If you’re not happy now, you won’t be happy then. Why? Because it’s always now.
Be blessed. Believe In You...
Friday
Wednesday
Monday
Pressure On Your Name (test)
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day's the same, whether sun or rain, pressure on your name
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, no one day’s the same, every day's the same
a sideways margin, why are we marchin again..
i bought my coffin, with a lil bit help from my friends
no ice cream socials, or dressin up nice tonight
my rites of passage, s’when I’m taking flight
out body, out of sight
out of scrutiny, out of my life
no longer obligated to be
held down by gravity
surpassed these human beasts
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, whether sun or rain, pressure on your name
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, no one day’s the same, every day's the same
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, whether sun or rain, pressure on your name
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, no one day’s the same, every day's the same
no one day's the same, whether sun or rain, pressure on your name
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, no one day’s the same, every day's the same
a sideways margin, why are we marchin again..
i bought my coffin, with a lil bit help from my friends
no ice cream socials, or dressin up nice tonight
my rites of passage, s’when I’m taking flight
out body, out of sight
out of scrutiny, out of my life
no longer obligated to be
held down by gravity
surpassed these human beasts
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, whether sun or rain, pressure on your name
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, no one day’s the same, every day's the same
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, whether sun or rain, pressure on your name
when you yell and scream just so you don’t hear the voices in your head no more, it’s time to go
no one day’s the same, no one day’s the same, every day's the same
Wednesday
List
- Must be hard to live everyday of your life followed in stores plus ppl are afraid of you because the TV and movies tell them to be.
- Must be hard to adjust the bass in your voice all the time because people are afraid when you speak.
- Must suck to have pockets but never be able to use them because having your hands in them or pulling your hands out of them is dangerous.
- Sucks that both males n females. Young n old of every complexion except for yours can wear hooded jackets. You can not. It’s wrong of you.
- Must be be hard to live in trauma for the entirety of your life and not realize it. Even worse the world doesn’t acknowledge your trauma.
- Must be hard to struggle when everyone wants to compare their struggle to yours.
- Must be hard to see the bigger picture. But be judged by your peers for not hating everyone that is not like you.
- Must be hard to try and change your life when the people that surround you don’t want to change their own.
- Must be hard to escape this life trap that’s been developing for so long.
- Must suck to not have to deal with any of this and surely not understand any of it so much so it forces you to be apathetic and blame those people for the life they did not choose. Man you’ve got it so bad.
- Must suck to have historically documented evidence that certain things were implemented specifically for you to fail, but have people ignore those facts. Tell you you’ve gottah pull up yah damn boot straps or something.
Thursday
Half A Mill Documentary "Player Hating: A Love Story" Interview With Director Maggie Hadleigh-West
My brief Interview with "Player Hating, A Love Story" Director Maggie Hadleigh-West
I went to Medgar Evers Tuesday night to see a screening of a film about a rapper. Turned out to be about Half A Mill. I honestly wasn't expecting much but the film was pretty good. I enjoyed it. After the screening there was a Q&A. I'm not fond of panels and most discussions that follow films about black folks. We always seem to end up in the same place upset and arguing saying nothing much that could actually affect change.
I couldn't take it and stood up and addressed the entire audience. In my brief rant I spoke about taking responsibility for one's self and for those who are around you. Being proactive and making a concerted effort to find something you can do to affect change. Someone kept asking, "but what can we do?" I pointed at the people on the panel and shouted they're telling you what you can do. Support them! I addressed the fact that if you truly want to do things you simply find a way to do them. I expressed that change is not always tied to a budget and it's important to understand that there is nothing small about any effort you make toward progress. You all want to have a perfect body but don't want to watch your diet and exercise. It ain't finna happen. I shared how one day I thought about how simply being nice to people in the street and smiling, speaking, kind gestures are powerful because there are people walking around everyday that simply do not want to live. All in all you have to actually care about people in order to want to help people. We are far too apathetic about things that happen around us that don't directly affect us. That has to stop. But we have to stop it. It's either do something or pretty much shut up.
Anyway... So much more to say but I won't. What I will say is that I support this film and I'd hope people will support it as well.
It's very interesting what gets support when it comes to the world of Hiphop and I'm not even discussing on a mainstream level because we all already know what it is.
This film deserves that support.
Quad Cinema: Fri. April 6 - Thurs. April 12
34 West 13th Street, NYC 10011 • 212.255.8800
Indie Screen: Fri. April 13 - Sat. April 14
289 Kent Ave. Williamsburg, BK, NY 11211 • 347.227.8030
Player Hating: A Love Story
Definition: Player Hating- Someone else is about to shine, and you'll do anything to keep that motherfucker from getting his cheese — it can be as subtle as negative flow (lyrics) or as extreme as trying to clap (shoot) him. -- Trent Bond, Half's Manager and former NYPD Detective
Half-a-Mill is a 26 year old hip hop artist from the Albany Projects in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. By the time he was seven, Half was sharing a gun with his brother, 'cause he was sick of people putting their guns in his face in the elevator of his building, and not being able to do anything about it. Half's been running with the same ten guys, since he was real little, and they're his crew. But he's the one that will take all of them out of the projects because he's been signed by the indie music label, Warlock Records. Half and his crew are doing most of the work to launch his first album Milion, but that's ok because there's the chance they'll blow up, and Half wants that so bad he can taste it, and he'll do whatever he has to do, in order to support himself, his family and his music.
Player Hating: A Love Story follows Half-a-Mill and his Brooklyn crew, The Godfia Criminals, as they struggle to launch Milion, in an effort to attain money, success and recognition through music. Player Hating delves intimately into the lives of young "thugs", and takes the viewer into an underground world of poverty, alienation, gangs, violence and music that most audience members have an inkling of, but few rarely see—unless they've lived it.
http://iareconscious.com/site/?p=1788
Tuesday
Break time...
I'm going to take a break from the Internets for a bit. Not sure how long. Return to all things non virtual. My energy is zapped. Time to recharge seriously. Much to think about. Much to handle. Big shout to all the folks that show and prove their support for my art daily. I love you for it. I am truly grateful. Be well.
Monday
Trayvon by Jasiri X
The Nba all stars are playing next
But right outside that same city
The celebratory atmosphere would change quickly
Who watching the game with me you know lil Trayvon
Was reppin his home town D Wade and LeBron
He had just came up from Miami to see his daddy
Who knew such a great weekend would end so badly
In a place where you move because it's safe for your family
But some people got a ingrown hate for your family
Halftime just a short brake from the slammin
Bout to go to the store lil cuz you want some candy?
Bet I grab you some skittles kid
I'll be right back in a little bit
Paid for lil cuz's skittles and a ice t
walked out the store and felt the chill of the night breeze
it seemed a little colder than before
he didn't know it was a boy like a soldier in a war
that was watching him clocking him thinking about stopping him
nine milly cocking them who's this nigga walking in my neighborhood
he fits all the specifics of criminal statistics he looks suspicious
911, what's your emergency
A black man's walking through my hood purposely
stay clam, it's just little Trayvon but he wanna be the hero so he put's his cape on
George Zimmerman neighborhood block captain
loaded glock strapped in fake cop has been
got out the car ignoring what the cops asked him
They always get away this time that will not happin
George Zimmerman didn't take his Ritalin
drunk off adrenaline says he making a citizens arrest
Trayvon looks at him vexxed
I just walked to the store nothing more nothing less
Just steps from his home he ignored his request
George grabs him, Trayvon swings and connects
Starts screaming out for help but Zimmerman see a threat
so he pulls out his gun and he points it at his chest
He fires but he misses Trayvon pleads for forgiveness
I didn't do nothing this is senseless
but George Zimmerman was so vicious
he made sure the second shot hit em no survivor no witness
Trayvon never gave his cousin his skittles
missed the all star game didn't see another dribble
And George Zimmerman wasn't even arrested
the message is only white lives are protected
In America
Monday
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